Power Moves by Karl Welzein

Power Moves

By Karl Welzein

  • Release Date: 2013-07-09
  • Genre: Humor
Score: 4.5
4.5
From 71 Ratings
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Description

Meet Karl Welzein, aka Captain Karl, aka @DadBoner on Twitter—the Midwest's most beautiful loser

Karl Welzein is really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.

His job is a drag and his wife kicked him out, but that's okay. She wears granny panties and is constantly dropping wads of cash at Target, and his son cries all the time. Now his "temporary" roommate, Dave, ate all the Totino's pizza rolls. Again. Karl Welzein is sick of this. So sick of this.

Power Moves chronicles the hilarious decline of Karl Welzein on his journey from life as a Dockers-and-golfshirt-wearing dad to a ponytailed party maniac who spits out his life philosophies like a modern-day Charles Bukowski (if he preferred to get drunk at Applebee's).

A middle-aged Michigan native, Karl may be overweight, prone to questionable fashion and culinary choices, oblivious to his drinking problem, a poor excuse for an employee, obsessed with the restroom, and a terrible husband, father, and friend . . . but in his heart he means well. He's just like a lot of us—he loves the USA, Guy Fieri, bold flavors, Bob Seger, and thinking he looks jacked in a tight tee and Maui Jim sunglasses. Karl is an everyman and like no other man on the planet all at once.

Inspired by the Twitter feed @DadBoner, Karl finally tells his full story. He shares his wisdom on fitness (1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do 'shups 'til you look like Stone Cold. 3. Cut off your sleeves), diet (Eat only the filling of the Taco Bell Beefy Melts for maximum flavor and low-carb health), fashion (Wearin' boots with jean shorts says "I like to keep cool, but I'm ready if the action gets hot"), work life (If you don't have a job that makes you want to kill yourself, you don't deserve to drink until you want to die), and the bliss of the perfect weekend (beers, brats, and babes' chest beefers).

But above all, this is a story about America—the real red, white, and blue America of today. Welcome to Karl's world. Reading this book is the ultimate Power Move.

Reviews

  • Hillarious!

    5
    By MnM1985
    This book is hilarious, I also follow the Twitter account. A must read if you're looking for a great comedy.
  • MAN.

    5
    By TRV82
    Probably the best book in the history of the universe. Anybody that doesn't think so can just hit the bricks to China or somewhere. USA. Let's Roll.
  • Power Moves

    4
    By Duck2452
    Reading through Burn's diary on Karl's thoughts, makes you want to lose faith in all of humanity. Because as you become more engrossed in the life of Karl, you realize you know someone like this. And it is a terrifying reality that there are a million real life Karl's on this planet.
  • Hysterical

    5
    By J-squillz
    The says it all. Anyone looking to live the bad boy lifestyle filled with carnal passions needs to buy this. Already itching for a sequel
  • don't be a corncob, you guys - it's time to rock it with the heat of a thousand suns

    5
    By mx_niko
    If you ain't rocking the all freedom lifestyle by givin the double freedom rockets to everyone you ever met, this book's for you. You'll learn to drink about a thousand beers, feel like you drank a thousand beers last night, and really be looking forward to the weekend, you guys. You'll be saying "I'm sick a this" to your corncob boss and peeling out of the parking lot, headed for Bad-Boy City, 24/7 in no time, thanks to the power moves you'll learn to pull from pretty much The Man, Himself: Karl Welzein.
  • This book ain't for corncob heads, you guys

    5
    By osikes
    Bold flavors!!
  • Jeffrey Dickinson.

    5
    By Apardy3 frustrated
    Get em out! What a treat

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